| 1. Birds of a feather flock together and then crap on your car. |
| 2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take the time to look it. for example: i am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. |
| 3. When i'm feeling down, i like to whistle. it makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself. |
| 4. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. |
| 5. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain. |
| 6. A penny saved is a government oversight. |
| 7. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. |
| 8. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and you fat are really good friends. |
| 9. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. |
| 10. He who hesitates is probably right. |
| 11. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody. |
| 12. If you can smile when things go wrong, then you have someone in mind to blame. |
| 13. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. |
| 14. Did you ever notice: when you put 2 words "the" and "irs" together it spells "theirs" ? |
